N.E.R.D.

If you are in the mood for a completely unnecessary 1,000 word post about how to be devoted to a geeky pastime and not be a social pariah this post is for you. If not turn back now...

A few days ago, during lunch with a couple of friends I was treated to a well described account of an awful first date. Besides providing laughter and a impeccable blue print of what not to do, the story also inspired this next post. So I would like to take the time to thank my friend. One for her willingness to share and two for her ability to be incredibly kind to those struggling Christian Romeos.

Without hearing the story first hand or knowing the entire situation I wouldn’t expect you to find this recap of the date incredibly interesting or humorous…. Just know that our Juliet was required to drive 45 minutes to meet said Romeo, was criticized during dinner for eating meat and had the pleasure of listening to his lyrical, instrumental and vocal “talent" on CD. Alas, the mixture of these travesties does not yield the crux of today’s post. What intrigued me most was Romeo’s insistence on constantly referencing his love for Lord of the Rings and his exasperation that Juliet’s adoration of all things fantasy did not equal his own.

In her recount of the story my female friend concluded with this approximate statement, “Lord of the Rings is fine, I know plenty of guys that I enjoy who really like those movies….but his devotion was over the top.” Finally we have arrived at the topic in question. At what point does an affection for somewhat “nerdy” movies, pursuits etc…become too much?

There is no doubt that the idea of being a “nerd” or enjoying things that might have at one time been considered nerdy is firmly planted in pop culture. This reality crosses all socio-economic barriers, and the examples are everywhere.

Television – Big Bang Theory has routinely (and surprisingly I might add) been a top rated show. 

Or for the older crowd… what about comic loving, and OC dwelling nerd hearth throb Seth Cohen.  

Sports – The who’s who of NBA stars routinely dress up in fake black square rim glasses and other seemingly nerdy attire

The point of this post however is not to prove that a “nerd mentality” has infiltrated our culture, it is to point out that society at large has determined that a correct, socially acceptable, amount of an otherwise “nerdy” pursuit exists.

Immediately, one would assume it is the relative degree of fandom that determines if it socially acceptable. On the surface I would disagree. For instance, one of my best friends is obsessed with Star Wars…like attended a convention within the past few years obsessed. (On a side note he ran into another one of my best friends at this same convention…might be time for me to branch out). 

Anyways, this person is liked by everyone I know, recently got engaged, is good at sports, funny, intelligent etc. So obviously it is not as simple as the amount (or degree) of his fandom…. Why is he socially acceptable? It’s simple, what separates him from Romeo in the story above is two things: his ability to read social situations and to relate with people on multiple levels.

Read Social Situations:

A problem exists when you have the inability to determine if other people share your passion. Romeo could not ascertain that his date was completely uninterested in Lord of the Rings. Throughout dinner he consistently talked about it, criticized her for not being a fan and tried to encourage her to see the upcoming prequel. At the conclusion of dinner, and on the way to the car, after his date made it obvious she was completely uninterested throughout the conversation, he found it appropriate to launch into a monologue about naming his car after the mythical horse “Shadowfax”. 

When your love for something inhibits you from seeing that other people don’t have the same passion, you’ve crossed the line. In contrast, those who are deemed socially acceptable have the ability to determine if others might not possess the same affection and choose not to disclose the true depths of their fandom. We could call it a “need to know basis.” If their love for Star Wars seems to equal yours, try to top it – they need to know you mean business. If they can’t tell the difference between and “X-Wing” and a “Tie-Fighter”, then it might be time to pump the brakes. 

Relate to people with other interests:

A problem exists when you haven’t developed other interests. This problem is closely related to the first. If the “nerdy” pursuit consumes your whole life: when it is all you talk about, all you care about it might be an issue. Those who are socially acceptable have the ability to relate to people on multiple levels. In the date mentioned above the (perpetually) eligible bachelor obviously was not comfortable attempting to relate to his Juliet about other interests. Our Juliet made multiple attempts to steer the conversation to different topics. However, without fail he redirected the discussion back to his comfort zone (probably Minas Tirith) The inability to develop other hobbies, skills, and pursuits because you are too consumed with a fantasy is troubling. On the other hand, “normal folks” are not so obsessed as to forsake other forms of leisure. Instead of sitting in their parent’s basement trying to develop an Uruk-hai alphabet they get out and attempt to be well rounded. 

Let’s be real, the majority of this post applies specifically to guys. (Unfortunately) I haven’t met many females who love watching Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas traverse the vast plains of Rohan. However, women before you judge know that you are not innocent. Your obsession with the “nerdy” is just different. Ladies listen to Justin Beiber, debate the merits of marrying a werewolf or vampire, and fantasize about loving a dude named after a Greek taco. We’re in the same boat; everybody has a “nerdy guilty pleasure.” Fantasy exists in order to allow us to do what we can’t in reality. Women desire to enter fantasy to be wooed by their prince charming; Men enter it to locate said prince charming, expose him for the evil leader he is, and run him through with a mythical blade.

Listen, I might be biased. My fantasy resume includes Pokemon, the Redwall Series, and an undying dedication to Lost. Furthermore, I spent the better part of the past year nose deep in popular, young adult, science fiction/fantasy novels. The result: Harry Potter – better than expected, Hunger Games – vastly overrated, Lord of the Rings – superior to both. However, the degree of fandom is not the true test. It is possible (I hope, or better yet Our Only Hope) for healthy, functioning adults to engage in fantasy pursuits. Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Twilight, Star Wars, DC or Marvel Comics, it matters not. Be a fan, be obsessed, and spend endless amounts of time breaking down trivial aspects of the films/books, just don’t expect your date to share the same passion.

Hypothetically Speaking....

Blog post #4

Hypothetically speaking…

I really enjoy hypothetical conversations, like really enjoy them. Some are less than enamored by otherwise seemingly pointless conversation (consequently these people are probably not a fan of this blog). Personally, I believe that answers can reveal interesting personality traits about certain individuals. As you would imagine, there are a number of hypothetical questions that I certainly enjoy, however one stands out above the rest.

The question:

“If you could live in one decade throughout history, what decade would it be? And Why?”

The rules

You can’t choose this decade…for a number of reasons

• It’s a boring answer
• This decade sucks so far
• Unless Justin Beiber is frequenting this page I can assure you that you’re life really isn’t that enchanted.

You cannot choose a decade that you lived in

• i.e. – I can’t choose the 80’s or 90’s

You don’t get to go back in time with the knowledge you have now

• This was because my Dad’s original answer was to go back to the 40’s with the intention of investing in the correct opportunities to ensure personal wealth. (As a side note if you hope to go back in time to try and make a lot of money your answer will probably be lame.)

Your decade of choice takes everything into account

•  Lack of medical knowledge: haven’t discovered the polio vaccine? – tough cookies.
• Social issues:  Want to live in a certain decade, but a world war occurred right in the middle….good luck. If you’re female and you really enjoy voting I would make sure suffrage has occurred.

Assume you will be in your “prime” during this decade… so society would say you’re between 20-30.

You have to choose a general area or region geographically….because this makes a difference.

You can’t choose biblical times

•  Oh you want to walk and talk with Jesus?…Wait, can’t you do that now?...seriously give a better answer.

My answer:

When I originally thought of this question it was with an answer already in mind. For me it’s simple. I would choose to live in Western United States in 1890-1900. First and foremost I avoid the Civil War and World War I, the benefits of that are obvious….my chance of living is exponentially increased. Second it is a time when Americans were flooding the western parts of the country to forge a life out of the wilderness. They didn’t go to an office for work, their job was to not die. I find this appealing. TPS reports? Nah, today I think I’m going to build a log cabin, pan for some gold, and then raise some cattle. Third I get to ride a horse and shoot bison on the reg. Finally it happens to be the setting for 2/5 of my top 5 favorite movies (Legends of the Fall & Dances with Wolves). Don’t worry though I currently have no designs on seducing my brother’s fiancé or marrying a Native American.

Feel free to comment, I'm interested in your answer…

An Inconvenient Truth

Big news….I got a haircut this week, only cost me $20 too (tip included). For the most part I was satisfied with the look and value. This is not common.

I’ve never really been a fan of haircuts. Since middle school, I can count on one hand the number of “successful” haircuts I have received. It my surprise you that I don’t believe this falls on the shoulders of my aspiring ProCuts hair stylists, or necessarily on my hair. For a long time my lack of satisfactory haircuts was solely the result of the “style” of haircut I desired. Against seemingly unanimous advice, I decided to stick with the “shaggy haired highschooler” look past it’s expiration date, and well into my early 20’s. Further complicating the problem was my mother’s (and eventually my) insistence to make sure that I got my money’s worth with each cut. Scared of making a superfluous purchase I routinely asked for a more than necessary amount of hair to be taken off. The result was as an awkward look that made me appear as if I was attempting to emulate a blond Harry Potter.

Now that I have progressed out of the shaggy hair phase, I have become firmly entrenched in the professional haircut realm…, which brings me to the story at hand. As previously mentioned, I was mostly satisfied with my most recent cut. However, my attempt to get a more professional look comes with an unfortunate drawback, I immediately look significantly younger.

The more I think about it though, this isn’t an issue exclusive to yours truly. Most of the time hair is mentioned women immediately come to mind. In true feminist fashion their need for relative equality in the world of hair has resulted in reverse sexism. By hogging the lions share of attention females have masked an inconvenient truth. Haircuts are most important for men. Women get their haircut and 99% of the time men don’t care and 100% of the time can’t tell the difference. This isn't the case for men, even the legally blind can tell a difference and women always care. I feel like most guys go into a potential haircut just trying to avoid disaster. More importantly though for some reason any time a boy (or man if you fancy yourself as such) cuts his hair he falls prey to a follicle Benjamin Button complex, and instantly appears 10 years old.  This is good news for those rapidly approaching a mid-life crisis. But for a 26-year-old guy who still gets carded at rated “R” movies, looking younger is not positive, nor needed. This aging phenomenon happens to my friends, my brothers even my Dad. I think it’s all of the precise edges and straight lines that cause us to reverse our age. All I know is that I leave the barber expecting my mom to remind me to "smile big" for school pictures at Anderson Elementary.

Regardless of the reasons, the truth remains all haircuts initially suck for guys. Now within a week, the hair starts to grow and it stops looking like the barber used a protractor. At this point my relative age is restored, and I stop wondering how I did on my latest spelling test.

Think about it though, women don’t face this dilemma. Now I’m not going to pretend to know anything about feminine hairstyles (well besides my hatred of pronounced bangs, but we’ll save that for another post). Layering, coloring, roots, extensions.....who cares? One thing I am positive of is that short of a dramatic style change, a female’s apparent age (and male's interest) isn’t altered. Lucky them. Does this make up for their burden of childbirth? No, but is it close? Absolutely. 

To New Beginnings...

I guess the most socially appropriate way to start my blog is to catch my would be avid followers up on my life….so, Mom, here it goes. I used to live in your house, but 5 months ago I grew up, got a job, spread my wings and moved 6 miles north. So in case you're wondering, your middle son is an up and coming, single, 26-year-old pricing analyst, who currently resides alone in an apartment on the west side of McKinney.

I’ve included a picture for your convenience.

Now that that’s over…

Living alone (and spending the majority of my time alone) is an extremely interesting experience. There are times where I can go literally days without any meaningful face-to-face interaction. This was a bit of an adjustment at first. By and large I enjoy social interaction, but I've always needed time alone to "recharge the batteries" However, when alone is your only option, you tend to crave some sense of human communication.  Throughout the past couple of months I have been surprised to discover that what I miss most about living with roommates (parents included) are the commonplace conversations about things that honestly don’t matter. Not earth shattering discussions on the meaning of life, but insignificant (but true) banter about the trivial.

Here are some recent examples..

 A few weeks ago, within earshot, my next-door cubicle neighbor started a conversation with a co-worker by mentioning that she walked her cat on a leash. I immediately dropped what I was doing and moved in for a better listen. I arrived just in time to hear her finish the story by revealing that due to feline health concerns she now transports her cat around her neighborhood using a stroller.

I workout at around 6 am a few mornings a week. Well recently, I was making the trek from the shower across the expanse of the locker room at my gym, when I was lucky enough to see a 65-year-old man squeezing into a neon orange man thong in preparation for his workout.

See it’s times like these, when I want to come home and mock these individuals for hours on end. Or when I desire to spend an unnecessary amount of time discussing the what if's and why's of my "cat lady coworker" & "mystery man thong" interactions that I truly wish I didn’t live alone…so I thought, what a great idea for a blog.

In reality, I’ve started it for a few other reasons as well:

(1) I’m of the (correct) opinion that my general outlook, ideas and musings are worthwhile.

(2) I believe that even though I haven’t recently become married, moved to an exotic location or announced the impending birth of my first child, people might actually be curious about my life, and what I have to say. 

(3) I truly hope that this blog becomes famous and I can quit my day job.

What follows will most likely be a little bit of everything: meaningless observations, life updates, sarcastic remarks and anything else I feel inclined to write about. 

Enjoy.